Okay. I’ll admit;
I’m a little bit scared of the dark.
Don’t laugh at me. I googled our house before we moved in and came across this blog which someone put
realllllly casually like, “oh yeah we used to live in Priory house in the seventies. We all thought it was haunted. Haha.”
No.
Not “Haha.”
I have to live there – it’s not a haha situation when you wake up at 2am, and can’t get back to sleep and all you can think of is how weird your dream was and how you hope that when you look down to the sink to wash the remainders tea out of your cup, you don’t raise your hand to see something ghoulish standing behind you trying to eat your head or whatever.
I can’t believe this is the second time I’ve blogged and I’m gonna end up talking about my dream AGAIN. Is this turning into a dream blog? I really need to do something good on this blogs or no one will ever follow it.
So I’m going to write a guide on “What to do when you wake up after a bad dream, and are a little bit scared.”
Some people pretend that this shit doesn’t happen to him, ahem, I mean them, like someone I know will pretend to be really brave and I-don’t-believe-in-ghosts-and-people-that-do-are-stupid, which is fine, it’s a great attitude to have, but I reckon that it’s easy to shake a person, and we’re all scared of death in some way or another, whether it’s us or losing someone that’s close to us, there are a couple ways your sub-concious can really fuck you over when it comes to dreams.
And, whatever, I don’t care; you can laugh but I’m 21 and dreams still scare the crap out of me, and if you say that they don’t you’re lieeeeeeeeing.
After I watched paranormal activity for the first time (I’m the type of person who loves horrors but is terrified by them afterward – that’s why I love them – for the THRILL.) I noticed there was a guide on “What to do after watching this film,” I.E how to sleep and not be TERRIFIED OF DEMONS. I’ll admit, I needed this guide.
So, I’ll admit I am a massive whimp when it comes to this stuff, so here’s my guide on “What to do after a scary dream.”
Dreams are are at their worse and most evil when they do stuff like this:
1. Threaten your life in a realistic way.
2. Throw it something really unrealistic but terrifying, for example in my dream there was a team of suicidal acrobat clowns that wanted me to join their club, once it was a woman covered in blood at the end of my bed (I offered her a towel, she just stared at me so “I” well “dream me” legged it.)
3. Add something else stupidly realistic, for example, when I had this scary woman dream, me and my subconcious must have really fallen out because the dream presented itself in an episodic 3 part show in my head; Firstly, I woke up to see a shadow man running out of the room, so I chased him into the hall-way, then he began to move towards me in a shadowy fashion so ofcourse, I legged it.
Then, I WOKE UP. I was somewhere else where something bad happened again – I don’t remember what truly happened as the next segment blew my mind (in a bad way.) Then, I woke up properly.
Or so I thought.
Bear in mind, I’ve had TWO bad dreams now, in both of which I’ve woken up so obviously I’m thinking that I’ve woken up for real.
I open my eyes. It’s my room and it’s exactly the same as usual, (flies flying everywhere – we had a fly infestation problem in our flat last year; worst problem ever) dream catcher swinging and a cool breeze on my face from the open window, yes everything is normal, so I must be awake….
Oh no wait, when I look to my left, there’s a bloody woman eyeing me up.
My first reaction; Oh shit she is real.
My second reaction; it’s a dream it’s a dream it must be a dream it must be…
Luckily, it was a dream but I was really terrified when I woke up, like I was shaking.
Thus, I’ve decided to share my guide on “How to avoid feeling like you’re in a horror film when you’ve first woken up after a horrrrrrible dream,” (it’s a working title.)
1. PUT THE LIGHTS ON. Scary thing usually happen in the dark, I always feel a lot better with the lights on than chilling in the dark, I feel like I’m waiting for the ring girl to just come crawling out of the blackness. So I can do her hair….
2. Think of amusing things. I’m not really that much of a funny person, so I just try to imagine stupid things happening, like for example, if the ring girl or the grudge did come out at you in the middle of the night what could you do?
– For the Ring girl, easy give her a hair-cut, braid it, give her a makeover, lend her some dry clothes – think about she’s been in a well for years, she would probably really appreciate it if you did that, maybe you could take her on a night out – west street live? Find her a nice boy to take back to her well.
– The Grudge – “Would you like a neck massage?” Easy.
– Any or ghouls or goblins or stuff like that – Put a film on, popcorn, cups of tea. No one can possibly eat your head when you’re being that nice to them.
And actually, googling the film really helps me because it reminds me that it’s actually JUST A FILM.
Samara Morgan, who plays the scary well-dweller in Ring Two actually has to go through a hell of a lot of makeup from being a sweet little angel to the evil version of Tangled.
Here’s a pic of here as a sweet little angel:
3. Back to dreams (let’s stay on topic here shall we..) Try to find out what your dream means, all over the internet, is forums and websites that if you type in an image or an element from your dream it will generate a response. Okay, some of them are bull-shit let’s be honest, but some of these forums are rooted in physcology (Carl Jung is a good person to look up if you’re interested in the pyschology of dreams btw.)
Plus, if you don’t mind waiting you can send your dream into forums and people can try and work it out for you.
Work out what your dream means at;
http://thedreamingwizard.com/ – This teaches you how to interpret your own dreams and the dreams of others, or you could also do what I do and pretend; “Oh yeah a spider? Well, a spider has eight legs so you fear that there’s a lot of misfortune creeping up on you slowly, and you have a lot of problems to tackle, but the symbolism of the spider means you could always spin a web, you need a safety neck to combat it.” bla bla bla.
http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/
http://www.dreamdoctor.com/
4. Put a fun song or you-tube video, I have an imagination that WILL NOT STOP and it is surely to be my down-fall when it comes to having a bad dream, I should be grown up but I find myself eyeing up my door and under my bed waiting for something to crawl out or burst through.
Ugh.
So I put on “Hey I just met you and this is crazy, so here’s my number so call me maybe.”
OR THE AMAZING,
“Aint nobody got time for that!”
Because let’s face it, no bad things can happen when you’ve got the amazing Miss Sweet Brown on the go.
Just tell the scary monsters that you just ain’t got time for that:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUvUt54pTrI
(Check out Russel Brand’s cheesy line at the end of the clip, like the end line of a serious version of one of JD from scrub’s famous musings.)
Cheerio guys!